he thought i was a dude.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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