Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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