it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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