he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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