I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
