I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
