i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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