I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
