why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Everything about him screamed your future.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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