Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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