just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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