well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
