I just cut my nipple shaving
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize