Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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