How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
