Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
