I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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