But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
