Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
