Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
stop calling my apartment porn island.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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