my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Let's get the cat blown out
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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