I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
