I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
