Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
