My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
