A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
