My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
