TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
