Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
