please come you make the beer taste better
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
