Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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