guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
