That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize