If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
