Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
