At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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