dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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