It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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