Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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