I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
