Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
