And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
