Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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