life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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