Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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