Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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