You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
