i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
