woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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