Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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