I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
