apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
