I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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