I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
