It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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