Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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