after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
