why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
