So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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