Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The police scanner is talking about you again....
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
