Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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