She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
