why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
