So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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