just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
