About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
