I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
