we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
