Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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