Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
love makes seman taste better
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She bit a glass in half.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
